When it comes to entertainment, I’m rarely moved enough to make a public display of my emotions. (That’s not true, I farted several times during Juno).  Anyway, for me to cheer during a movie, or laugh at a TV show means that the artist really had a special and unique point of view.

Crying however…

Forget it. Many have tried and most have failed. Crying is just not my thing. In fact, I could never understand how people would shed a tear at the end of the movie E.T. (It was like watching a Louis Vuitton purse go home).  Don’t get me wrong, there’s been movies and television shows that have nearly made emotional imprints on  me but, oddly enough, comic books have been the one medium that has caught me off guard in the sad department more times then I care for.

So this week I decided to share with you some of the books that have choked me up…. and if you tell anyone about it I’ll come to your house and punch you in the face.



A small book, by writer Grant (Kneel before Zod) Morrison and artist Frank Quietly.  The story follows three animals: A Dog named Bandit, a Cat named Tinker and Pirate the Rabbit, who are kidnapped, experimented on and eventually turned into weapons for the military . The story focuses on the animals trying to get back to their previous owners, all the while surviving numerous perils along the way. Think Homeward Bound meats Robocop.

Ok, WE3 did get me a bit teary eyed, but in my defense Morrison and Quietly took the cutest of the animal kingdom (A Dog, Rabbit and Cat), stuck wires and tubes all over them and then had them speak… IN BABY TALK.

GUD Dog. Help man. (Next panel he asks) Gud Dog?  Seriously? Fuck you Morrison and Quietly, that’s a low blow.


Y the Last Man

A Vertigo series by Brain K. Vaughn and Pia Guerra that tells the story of Yorick, the last man on earth, and his monkey Ampersand. Yorick is in search of his one true love while trying to figure out how his gender was wiped out in the first place. It’s a well written book with a lot of twists and great humor but not necessarily on Oprah’s Book Club of all time tear jerkers.For me however, it was the ending. That ending was hard. It’s just a couple of panels (And I won’t spoil it) but it’s one of these scenes where I had to flip back and read it again. Seriously, there needs to be a vile of testosterone taped to the inside of the back cover of this book. I could have used a shot, while in the fetal position.



By Craig Tompson, an autobiographical tale that tells the story of Tompson’s childhood in an evangelical Christian family, finding his first love and the realities of young adulthood. Where Y the Last Man gave me a feeling of great loss and WE3 filled me with sadness over the cruelty of mankind, Blankets had a nostalgic feeling for me. Through this very personal story, Craig Tompson indirectly had me remembering the feelings that come with first loves or the confusing time that’s spent finding your own identity separate of your parents as a young adult…. I swear to god if you tell someone all this emotional crap I’m spewing, I will vehemently deny it and then quickly accuse you of running a Rub N Tug for retired members of R. Kelly’s entourage  … I’m all about misdirection.


Spider – Men #4

If you haven’t been reading, Brian Michael Bendis has taken the Amazing Spider-Man from the 616 universe and dropped him in the Ultimate universe, meeting it’s Spider-Man and facing a world where Peter Parker is dead. in issue #4, he visits his Aunt May and without spoiling anything let’s just say… holy hell Bendis. Having old people meet the alternate universe version of their loved ones that were dead less then a year ago and having said old person be able to say things to said loved one one more time is… Screw you, that’s power aid in my eyes.




Sure there were other books that hit me deeply; The Walking Dead. Ghost World. Preacher. However, Blankets, Y the Last Man, WE3 and Spider-Men #4 are just a few books that have actually succeeded in making me choke up a bit, taking me dangerously close to spilling a little water from my long since dried up tear ducts, and part of me hates them for that. So if you need a bit of  emotional ‘soak’  from your comics, try one of these, or just read the Ultimates and punch yourself in the balls on each page.

If you’re gonna geek out, GEEK HARD!

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 Last Week’s Column: Things I’ve Learned While Buying Plastic Men: Superman Would Hate You