I don’t claim to be a prophet but in the last little while, pop culture has provided us with two very definite signs that the world might be coming to an end. I don’t mean an ice age coming, a nuclear error or the wheat being too thin. No, in the past two weeks, two things occurred that I never thought I’d see in my life time.  All I’m waiting for is a third sign and then I’m building my bunker as fast as I can.

Sign #1: My Bloody Valentine FINALLY release their new album

As many of you readers are aware, I’m a huge music geek and a band I enjoy is My Bloody Valentine.  They were responsible for the sound that is now referred to as “shoegaze” and their last album was called Loveless. Now while to some of you youngsters out there, Loveless won’t mean much now. Sure, it good but it sounds a lot like a whole ton of records since then. That’s because Loveless came first but it came at a cost of sorts. MBV’s main man is a guy named Kevin Shields and over the course of the production of Loveless he spent in two years a rumoured 250 000 pounds and nearly bankrupted record company Creation Records in an effort to make his perfect album. To be fair, Loveless is really, really good. Then we heard that Kevin and company were working on a new album.

That was 1992.

Ever since, music geeks have read in interviews and heard rumours that the next album was coming but no one actually believed it. Then last year, more rumblings. Once again we scoffed even when Shield’s stated flat out that the album was done and just being mixed (around Dec of 2012). A lot of us went “Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it”. Alan Cross and I joked about if it should happen to appear, we should do an “unboxing” video just to prove that the album actually existed. But, sure to their words, MBV released a brand new album last week via their website. And not only that, it’s good. Nothing incredibly ground breaking but it’s really good. So there is sign number one.

Sign #2: Bruno Sammartino is being inducted into the WWE hall of fame… and he’s GOING!

Even some wrestling fans of my age group don’t remember Sammartino and if they do, it’s either from his role as a colour commentator for WWF programming back in the very early 80’s or as a guy who’s taken his shots at the WWE, their product and talent. The short version of the story is Bruno was the man in the WWWF (the predecessor to the WWF now WWE) for a number of years. Madison Square Garden sold out due to Bruno being on the card approximately 200 times. But in the 80’s, Bruno had a huge falling out with company. He didn’t like the party culture that was developing amongst the workers and generally didn’t like the way the product was going. And he spoke out whenever asked about it. Apparently Vince McMahon was none to happy about this. In short, Bruno being inducted into the HoF looked like a no go and Bruno being there for an induction was even less likely.

Then ESPN posted the linked article.

Some people are just saying that the WWE just ponied up a few dump trucks of money at his door and he said yes but from everything I’ve ever read on Sammartino, that’s not how he rolls. He’s a guy with a moral center that he sticks to and if he’s going in, he’s doing it because he feels everything he has said in his latest round of press is on the level.

So there’s two signs of the apocalypse right there. But I’m the kind of person that needs three signs within a certain time frame to confirm the world is ending. So what could the third one be? Well I’ve done my research and if you see any of the following pop up in the news before June, the next thing you might see is me at Freshco stocking up on canned goods.

(for clarification, NONE of the following has happened…..yet)

The Day The Clown Cried Released on DVD and Blu Ray

This infamous film of made by Jerry Lewis is a myth at this point. It was a film about a washed up clown who performs for children at a Nazi concentration camp. The film was made in 1972 but due to a combination of money and legal troubles, it has never seen the light of day. Supposedly Lewis has one of the few if not only copy of it (on VHS… maybe he’s upgraded since then) and has occasionally shown it to people. Essentially this was supposed to be Lewis’s Schindler’s List. Instead… well let’s let Harry Shearer (who saw a version the film in 1979) explain:

“With most of these kinds of things, you find that the anticipation, or the concept, is better than the thing itself. But seeing this film was really awe-inspiring, in that you are rarely in the presence of a perfect object. This was a perfect object. This movie is so drastically wrong, its pathos and its comedy are so wildly misplaced, that you could not, in your fantasy of what it might be like, improve on what it really is. “Oh My God!” – that’s all you can say.”

But film geeks WANT a chance to shit on it themselves. I would not be surprised if Lewis has something in his will about it never seeing the light of day but we shall see. If it appeared tomorrow however, I start digging the bunker out back.

Steve Ditko Returns To Spider-Man via San Diego Comic Con

I figured I’d just throw together two of the most unlikely Ditko things to happen into one mega sign of the end. Ditko hasn’t worked for a major publisher in years and he doesn’t do conventions (which at this point, he could make an absolute fortune doing so it’s admirable that he sticks to his guns. I don’t know if I could). I won’t lie, I’d love to see Ditko back in the limelight if for nothing else but to answer questions we’ve had for years. What has he been up to? Why did he leave Spider-Man? Etc. Ditko is one of the few silver age masters left and it’s a shame we don’t get more from him than we do. That being said, I also respect the fact that he has chosen his current path and the reasons he has chosen it for. He is a man of principle and I honestly believe nothing would change him to the point of doing conventions. If he did, I’d take that as a sign.

 

Image United’s remaining issues are published in a monthly fashion

… yeah… right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before the world ends, make sure to geek out and GEEK HARD!

 

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