It’s my birthday  today.

I swear that wasn’t a lame attempt at getting you readers to bombard my Facebook wall with happy birthday memes and gifs. I just wanted to make the point that I’m getting older.

The down side of getting older is that you start to loose things you took for granted in your youth. Yeah sure, there’s the obvious things, like hair and the ability to do the splits (Time Cop is basically my autobiography). But I’m talking about the stuff you loose as you get older that no one tells  you’re going to loose.

Like, I don’t know where to buy weed any more! I haven’t smoked weed in years and the ability to find some has completely left me. There was a time I had a few people I could call and get an 1/4 ounce at my front door at a moments notice.  Now it’s all Temple of Doom. I have to pull out a dusty old Rolodex and make sure the sun goes though the medallion at the right time so it can show me the drug dealer’s house on the temple floor.  Smoking weed for me at this age has become a three day affair. One day to find weed. The next day to smoke it and barricade myself in doors a la Black dude from The Walking Dead. Then finally, I need the last day to recoup. It’s my pot sabbath.

I’ve been trying to put together a D&D night since moving from Toronto. I have a venue and willing participants. All I need is a dungeon master but do you know how hard it is to find one when you’re 38? I lived in a lot of different neighborhoods and there are three things you can always count on from them:

  1. Lawns
  2. Nosy Neighbors &
  3. Dungeon Masters


Since I’ve turned 35, it seems like I’ve lived in a series of D&D ghost towns. I’ve tried asking around and posting on social sites, but nothing. Which means I might have to learn this DM’ing thing myself and man am I going to suck.

At first.

But I  understand and accept that period of suck. See, I also know that after doing multiple campaigns week after week, I’ll hit that magic number of times and become good. Just good. But better then suck. And then maybe one day, if I keep going, I might even be amazing. You see the universe is all about the odds. More times you do something the better chances you have at succeeding at it.  Age just gives you the patience and the wisdom to calmly wade through the suck. That and the ability to talk to seagulls. News flash: they just want bread.

If you’re gonna geek out, GEEK HARD!

Follow me on twitter @GavinbStephens

You may suck at first but never let that stop you from reaching your goal of becoming an average Dungeon Master.